Obedience is not a word that is addressed often in parenting these days. It’s a child-led world out there. Kids aren’t disobedient, rather we failed as parents to have appropriate boundaries. Often a child’s naughty behaviour is the parent’s fault in many Millennial parenting spheres. It’s not the child’s fault that they covered the backyard fence in coconut oil – the parent should not have had coconut oil where the child could access it. The child should have been supervised. It’s not the child’s fault that they banged on the two hundred year old piano in the historical museum – the museum should have had a barrier around it, or no piano at all.
To be honest, and I know this is an unpopular opinion to have – I disagree with this approach to parenting. I feel this is a recipe for a complete breakdown of safe, predictable and polite society. As adults we have rules we need to learn and follow – traffic laws, litter laws, tax laws etc. Kids need to learn rules and to obey them too in a safe space at home.
Obedience also extends to a general common-sense respect for others and items in their care. Age-appropriately, children also need to be able to anticipate boundaries of respect and err on the side of caution. I shouldn’t need an explicit rule about “no drawing on the house with a permanent marker” – it is expected when we have a larger rule respecting property. We can all live in peace and harmony together when we obey the rules and we live with an obedient spirit of respect to the world around us.
I know there are many parents who would agree with me. And yet we are still squeamish about the word “obedience”. It sounds so antiquated, authoritarian, even Victorian. But it’s not! It’s a good word we need to know!
What is Obedience?
In the world, we have rules that help keep us and others safe. When we are obedient, we follow the rules, even if no one is watching. Following the rules builds trust. Being obedient also means thinking for yourself and questioning whether the person making the rules has your best interests (and the best interests of others) at heart. You do not need to obey someone if doing so will hurt yourself or others.
I try to read living, high-quality books with my kids that feature characters dealing with a situation where they need to be obedient, or where they find themselves being disobedient and reaping the consequences. These stories are not top-down, preachy “let me teach you about what it means to obey”, but rather are plot and character driven. I hope you enjoy reading these stories with your kids and have some examples to share with them and reference next time they do the thing you expressly asked them not to do (e.g. pinch their brother, bike on the road, feed the dog twice, etc…) and can see the consequences of their actions.
Robert the Rose Horse by Joan Heilbroner
Robert wants to be an obedient horse and to do as he’s asked, but he’s allergic to roses and he keeps being asked to go near roses, resulting in enormous sneezes! My dad read this story to me as a kid and I laughed and laughed as he did the most over the top sneezes. Now as a grandpa he reads this same story to my kids with the same effects and giggles galore.
The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter
Is there a more quintessential story of disobedience? Peter Rabbit disobeys his mother and goes into Mr. MacGregor’s garden – almost to his peril!
The Tale of Tom Kitten by Beatrix Potter
Tom Kitten is another story of a disobedient little character – who gets his nice clothes dirty after his mother expressedly asked him to stay out of the dirt. Sometimes kittens be kittens though and kids be kids…
Peter and the Wolf by Sergei Prokofiev translated by Maria Carlson
Peter and the Wolf is a classic tale of a little boy not listening to his grandfather and going off into the woods to hunt a wolf. In this story though, Peter ends up victorious and the wolf is captured and brought to the zoo. Grandpa is still mad though, as he should be! Peter could have died….
This is a lovely (amateur) video made by the London Symphony during Covid lockdowns that brings the story to life through music. It really brings me back to those early days of the pandemic.
Strega Nona by Tomie De Paola
Strega Nona tells her helper to not use the magic pasta pot – but he disobeys and fills the entire village with pasta!
I hope you enjoy these stories with your kids!
Warmly,
-Heather
Ps: This post contains Amazon-affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases. They are one small way to support my blog. Thank you for your support!
Enjoyed this post? Check out some of my other recent posts:
- Making Homeschooling Work During Home Remodeling
- Why Halloween is Important for Kids
- Kids Books about Trustworthiness
- Having a Pet Hamster for Families
- Kids Books About Compassion
Don’t want to miss a thing? Sign up for my mailing list and get my posts direct to your inbox as soon as I publish them. I try to publish once a week, usually on a Saturday.
Discover more from Welcome to RinkydinkMum
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
