In a few hours, it will be 1 year since Mom’s suffering in the ICU ended. While this day a year ago was very hard, it was also very peace-filled and full of love.
I don’t really know what awaits our souls after life, but I turn to our ancestors, across time and across cultures who maybe didn’t agree on what the afterlife looked like but most had a notion that there is something beyond the veil. Maybe it’s just to appease the divide between our left and right brains, but why would humans spend so much time and resources over thousands of years preparing or honouring their loved ones in an afterlife if there wasn’t some grain of truth there? I think deep down, we know we don’t know but yet we know….
And now, for me, after having gone through the loss of my mother, I feel even more certain that her soul has a place somewhere and that she has never really left me.
Several times this year I’ve been hit sideways by feelings that she’s not far away, in a favourite song of hers that comes on the radio, something Violet decides to do and I can just hear my mom’s voice laughing with me, a bouquet of flowers, a pack of napkins, or yesterday, when someone in a birding group I follow, had hiked into the salt marshes of Coyote Point to take this picture of the escaped SF zoo flamingo. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe she lives on in my heart, or maybe she’s had a great year free of pain, reunited with many of her loved ones who’ve gone before her, walking beside me every step of the way and letting me know every once in a while that she’s still right there. It’s a comforting thought.
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